Two of my friends from grade school got engaged this week. I feel the need to reflect. One of them, Avi*, lived down the block from me. His father was my Rebbi and he was obviously trying to become a Rabbi since 1st grade. We did homework together, carpooled together, but never really connected. We just never had the same goals. Then he left town to yeshiva, and I didnt see him for a few years. I saw him walking past my house one day and went over to say hi. i couldnt understand him due to the heavy yeshiva mumbling. I just stared at him, then nodded, and went home. I dont think I've seen him since. If I would see him, I dont think I would say hi cuz I know that after the "hi", the uncomfortable silence comes in. I see him turning into one of those kollel people that never learn to relate to the world. I find that sad. I hope he meets someone charismatic that influences his life and brings out the inner something. Then he can positively influence the world in some way, instead of being one of those guys that sits and learns and goes home, never inviting guests who arent in the yeshiva over, never talking to someone who's intersted in Judiasm, or who needs that little push to help him out. Why do people keep attaining knowledge if they dont use it?
The other guy, Yitz*, was a big sports fan. i didnt have so much to do with him in grade school, except we both hated the same people. That was how my class bonded. Then in 9th grade we made a siyum on mesechet megilla together. Then we both went to yeshivot out of town and didnt really have much to do with each other. 2 years later, I was home for the summer, bored out of my mind. I went to hang out with my old friends who had made new friends since I had left. For the first time in my life, I hung out with girls. Despite what many think, I didnt do it as an act of rebellion, or to spite anyone, I was just bored and needed some friends. Yitz was also part of this crowd. His parents didnt mind, so he was allowed to openly mingle. I didnt want to know what my parents thought so I hid and lied every time I left the house. I used to learn with Yitz, then run off to see the girls, then say I had been hanging out with him all day. It didnt work for very long, then I got in a lot of trouble. I always wonder what would have happened if I had been honest. It wasnt til that summer of 11th grade that I met my neighbor, Leah*. I knew she existed, but thats all I knew. She was dating someone at the time that I disliked, but it didnt last too long. I started hanging out with this crowd on my weekends home, and kept up with email when I was away. Then I started dating one of the girls. Yitz always took the credit for being the one to set us up. The relationship lasted 3 years, then I ended it. He was dating another girl from the crowd, and we all used to go out together, always sneaking from someones parents. Yitz was one of those friends that when we were both home, we would always hang out together, but we never kept up when we were away. We never really had an emotional friendship of sharing, we just had mutual friends and hung out together a lot. This past summer he started dating Leah, and now they are engaged. I find it a bit weird to want to marry someone youve known for so long. But I am happy for them. They have both been to israel, to schools out of state, but in the end, they are sticking to their roots. I have a lot to thank Yitz for. He was always there for me. He would drive me places, deliver messages for me, always back up my cover story. Even if he didnt have to lie, he would do it for me. Even though that first relationship didnt work out, I learned a lot from it, and I have Yitz to thank for giving me that learning opportunity. Theres a beautiful country song, "G-d blessed the broken road that led me to you". Without that road that we all walked on, and fell down, and got up and kept walking, I may have never met my Eshet Chayil. So thank you everyone who has been there for me along the way.

*name changed for the hell of it