Sunday, January 22, 2006

Culture Shock

Although I learn in an open environment, of religious and not religous, boy and girl, I'm still very insulated from what goes on out there. Today I was relaxing with two religious guys and a not religious girl. The girl has lived with her boyfriend for 4 years, but has no plans to marry him. They have an apartment together, share a car, a bank account, but she sees no reason to marry him until they want to have kids, and thought I was crazy for getting married so early! The part that really culture shocked me was that her mother told her that she CANT get married until she lives with her boyfriend for a few years!! She said its impossible to really know someone until you live with them, so how can you make a lifelong commitment without really being sure of what you're getting? I tried to explain that when you date you make sure the other person isnt completely crazy, but once you get to the point that you love the other person, you don't have a problem with their idiosyncrasies, everything can be dealt with, but she wasnt buying it at all. I didnt get why if she was confident enough that this was the guy, that they shared money and a car, etc, why wouldnt she marry him. Then it was time to class and I left. I don't know whats actually gained by having these intercultural dialogues, it's not like we're going to convince the other person they're wrong, but at least it gave me something to blog about


Blogger Olah Chadasha said...

Those are excuses. All she's really saying is that she has an "out". Even with sharing a car and a place, she still has that easy "out" if she wants it.

2:37 AM  
Blogger menachem said...

but you don't daven hallel!

oh, wait...

6:09 PM  
Blogger mom said...

You do live in a different world and I'm glad you finally noticed. I hope you feel you're better off in your world apart from that world

1:44 PM  
Blogger Veev said...

"I don't know whats actually gained by having these intercultural dialogues"

Are we really a different culture, or just are different based on our religious/moral standards?

3:39 PM  
Blogger stillruleall said...

I dont think there is an easy out when you live with someone and share a car and back account. That is clearly a commitment. And if most married people you know get divorced, and no one is pressuring you to get married, there's no reason or incentive to actually tie the knot.
Very funny Menachem
If religion was a once a week event, or just a thought process then I wouldnt think we were of a different culture. But religion decides where you go to school from gan til you finish, what food you eat, how you speak, and every other aspect of life. If that isnt a different culture then what is?

8:08 PM  
Blogger Olah Chadasha said...

Do you know how hard or how much garbage a spouce goes through in order to get divorced? Having to find another place to live or giving up a car is nothing compared to getting a divorce. It's true that so many people are doing it these days, but it doesn't make it any easier.

8:41 PM  

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