Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Bloggers Who Admitted Who They Voted For

Celebrating Democracy

For my first time, I have exercised my democratic right and voted. I could have voted in the last American elections but I didnt care enough to vote as an expat. And anyway I would have voted Bush. So for the first time, I voted. I was hoping there would be a big ink bucket so after I could raise my ink-stained finger and yell like a monkey. But instead I went into the room, was given an envelope, and sent behind the curtain (actually more of a mechitza). There's a bunch of little cards with letters on it and you have to pick one and stick it in the envelope and then show them that you're putting it in the box. for some reason instead of writing the name of the party in big letters on the little cards, they have big letters and the party name written in small. I chose National Union/NRP. Then I went and bought a danish from Angels to celebrate.
The Rock has posted his election predictions based on nothing, and I believe he is off. Here's my predictions (also based on nothing).
Kadima : 32
Labor : 21
Likud : 15
Shas : 11
NRP/NU : 13
Lieberman: 9
Arabs : 6
Meretz : 5
UTJ : 6
Some Small Party: 2

Saturday, March 25, 2006

And He Shall Be Called In Israel...

Our friends had a baby boy, and the brit was on Shabbat. I dont think there's any difference between a Shabbat brit and a regular brit except that we had to walk there. Anways, it was a nice ceremony, lots of chanting, baby crying, etc. The part I didnt get was why do people insist on speaking in Yiddish when calling people up for a ceremony? The guy calling and the guy being called dont speak Yiddish. Yet every time they always say "mit the brucha", "da rebbe", or "foon" something or another. I've noticed this at weddings too when calling people up for shave brachot. They named the baby Yehuda, the father said that it is accepted that the wife picks the first name, and she named him Yehuda to thank God (hoda) for giving them the child. I like that, not naming after dead (or alive) people.

Yehuda, son of Nissim and Ricky, welcome to the fold!!

Friday, March 24, 2006

The Truth Is Out There

Someone just showed me the coolest website! You upload a picture of yourself (or anyone really) and they analyze it and tell you which celebrities you look like. He put in a picture of us from Purim, the closest match to me was Lena Olin. Yeah, I never heard of her either. Although I did also score pretty close to George Clooney and Carson Daly. But that's not even the important part. I uploaded a few more pictures, and BAM, I got 68% likeness to Kate Hudson! Now I finally understand my Almost Famous obsession........ Shany got likened to Lana from Smallville and Marissa from the O.C. No wonder theyre two of my favorite shows.....It all makes sense now, thanks to myHeritage.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Have Fun, See You Later

Purim, firstly, was awesome. Two nights of partying to God, Seudah, mishloach manot, a bit of drinking lshaim shamayim, tzedaka, it was all covered. We were invited to a wedding Wednesday night, after Purim ended in Jerusalem. Why anyone would choose to get married on a day when the majority of guests were going to be drunk that same day is beyond me, but thats what they did. So I did my seudah, got drunk, fell asleep, wandered around a bit with the parents, and then Shan and I went to the wedding. And then we found out: it was seperate seating. Ive already skipped a few weddings since they were seperate seating. Especially those weddings were Shany's friend is getting married, so the onyl people I know are on the ladies side. This wedding wasn't as bad, since I knew a bunch of the guys there, but the whole concept bothers me. Do people that make seperate weddings also have seperate Shabbat tables? One of the reasons I got married (other than that whole love thing) is that there's always someone around to talk to. I never have to worry about being too bored becuase I always know at least one person every place I'm at.
But we did end up at this seperate event. Luckily, they had a lot of wine at every table, and I managed to get slightly drunk for the second time that day. The dancing was side by side with the ladies, with a mechitza down the middle. How un-tzniut is that?? Especially when the ladies move the mechitza to watch the guys dance. So we still had to look at women while we were dancing. Also, the band can see the ladies side. I think the next chumra, after seperate seating becomes mainstream enough, is not to allow women to dance at weddings. And the photographer was also watching them. Why are they filming it at all if a man might watch the video or see the pictures. After they stop allowing women to dance, next step is not to serve food. Someone might eat without saying a bracha, so better that there is no food at all. Also, food can never be kosher enough, better not to have it. After that, we can just not allow women to come to weddings. They dont have to be there. The kalla can get married through a shaliach. That will eliminate the big problem I had, I had to say excuse me to women a few times when I passed them in the hallway. Can you believe it, this wedding forced me to talk to a woman! I still feel dirty. The next obvious chumra is not having weddings at all. It's such bitul Torah!! there should be a dedicated ten men who it's known cant learn so well, and whenever people want to get married they use them as their shlichim to marry them off. Then the chattan also avoids the problem of possibly seeing women on the street before he gets to the wedding.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

purim sssshpielo

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Sunday, March 12, 2006

Nothing Compares

It has already started. The feeling is in the air. That feeling of....happiness. I went out today to celebrate the gorgeous weather, that I didnt have class (well really that I didnt go to class), and to look around for costumes for me and MyShan. Everywhere I walked people were dressed up, singing, smiling, just being happy. town was mobbed with costumed people. Strangest went to a girl dressed as a watermelon. I'm not even talking about the little kids who were all dressed up. There are grandmothers walking around costumed, babies costumed in strollers and everyone in between. And Purim doesn't even start here until Tuesday night! I had a quick flashback to America, and just felt sorry for all the Jews living there, thinking they know what Purim is. When every store is selling costumes and mishloach manot, when the entire city is dressed up three days before the holiday, when there is Purim music being played spontaneously from every corner, when you see people everywhere in a good mood and you can feel their happiness, that is Purim in its true unaltered state.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Times They Are A'changing

Once upon a time, I lived for Purim. Once upon a time I also lived under a totalitarian regime known only as South Bend. Anyways, Purim was the highlight of the year. First there was the breaking the fast on a cup of vodka. then dressing up and going door to door, singing in peoples houses and collecting for whatever cause we were assigned to. It never mattered who were collecting for. We just went into peoples houses, danced away, drank whatever they offered, and went to the next house. By the time we got to the yeshiva'a party we were all very sick from mixing too much, but danced anyway until we were too sick to move. then somehow I always woke up in bed the next morning. I went to megilla, usually threw up either right before or had to hold it in til the end, and then started drinking again. I think there was more dancing and collecting duringthe day, followed by the big family seuda, and once again, somehow waking up in bed the next morning, usually very sick. After high school, I stayed in yeshiva for Purim, there was no collecting at night, just dancing the night away til we got very sick and were dragged home. The next day my rebbi would have everyone over for a good breakfast, which usually cured us from our night sickness, and then we would start all over again. The seuda was in the yeshiva, and I have some beautiful pictures of a table full of wine bottles and nothing else. Then there was dancing and somehow waking up in bed in the morning. On shushan Purim we had a parade through the wonderful city of Providence. One year I was Ernie, and the next I was Daisy Duck. then I came to Israel and discovered what two days of Purim really was. first night was spent in Bnei Brak, I think collecting. the rest I dont really remember.
Point of this all is, that Purim always had wonderful memories, or the wonder of not having memories, but always in a purely single guy setting. Now as a married man, its a different world. Last year we went to a Bar Ilan party, very much a singles scene. And it was a very far cry from the yeshiva parties I am used to. Two years ago, we went to "The Moshav", but nothing really was happening there. This year, I dont know what to do. I dont think what I'm looking for exists for me anymore. I've adapted everything else, and now it's time to adapt Purim too.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Too Early For Talking

As I was walking towards the bus at the very early hour of 9Am today, braving the freezing cold weather (so cold that I left my house with a jacket and went back in to put on a coat), I was waiting for the light to change when someone said to me in Arse (thats the Hebrew dialect spoken by punks) "hey, I'm also a gingi" (redhead). not being a redhead, I was sure he wasnt talking to me, but no one else was around so I looked up, and there was a very bleach blonde boy looking at me. He was holding up with another guy (with similar fake blond hair) a huge Likud sign (Likud strong-Israel safe). we started shmoozing, and I asked him if he agrees with the sign hes holding. "I agree with anyone who's going to pay me 20 shek an hour," he tells me. "Likud would get a ticket cuz its illegal for them to hang up these big signs on street corners, so they hire us to hold them. Who do you want to vote for," he asks me. I tell him I'm leaning towards Ichud Leumi, but I'm not totally decided yet, and he tells me "I'm going to vote for Marzel, he'll throw all the Arabs out of here." meanwhile, the light had already changed and changed again, and as I crossed the street I watched my bus go by, and had to wait 20 minutes for the next one. Which didnt matter cuz class was so boring I was glad I came late. The whole conversation was very weird, starting with him calling me a gingi like him. Also that Likud has to pay people to help them, I believe Ichud Leumi has all their people volunteering for free. And you'd think part of the guys job, other then standing holding a sign, should be to try and convince people to vote Likud instead of for Marzel. But it was nice to see a right wing chiloni, even if he was a bit overboard right wing, and probably not old enough to vote.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Top Of My Hate List and Other Stuff

I dont usually have a hate list, but I had to make it so I could have a top of it. And the top of it is shared with two parties. The people selling firecrackers, and the kids that are setting them off in my neighborhood. WhenI was a kid, we had little tiny popper things that made less noise then knocking on a door. Also, I lived in a place that when people heard loud exploding noises they knew it was firecrackers because there were no bombs around. Over here, it sounds like these kids are setting off TNT, all in the name of Purim fun. Car alarms go off from the strength of these things, and they sound like bombs. And they throw them all night. I really want to catch one of these kids about to light one so I can make him swallow it right before it goes off. Then maybe theyll see how annoying those things can be.

In other news I have a coke habit I cant get rid of. I used to only drink Sprite or 7up, recently I started drinking coke and now I'm feeling addicted. I don't think I've had a bottle stay overnight. I open it and its finished the next minute. I cant even blame Shan cuz she doesnt drink coke. At least coke bottles are only a literand a half here and not 2 liters.

There's a great series going on right now at Jameels. He has purim parodies of different blogs. Very worth checking out. My personal favorite so far is this parody of this blog.

Monday, March 06, 2006

My Dog Ate My Homework

This morning, as I was about to leave the house, I heard loud explosions, so I cursed out the little kids that run around throwing firecrackers before Purim and left the house. I made it to the street, and got yelled at by a chablan (police in charge of blowing up things) to get back in the house. So far there's been like 5 (controlled) explosions. I dont know if that means they found five seperate suspicious objects laying around, or this was something real. So now, for the first time, I get to go to school and tell my teacher, I'm sorry I was late, there was a bomb on my street and the police wouldnt let me leave my house.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Who Makes Up These Dumb Things? And Why Am I Answering?

I have been tagged by shu, and not having much else to do now, here goes. who makes up these stupid questions??? Mendy, you're tagged.


A: Shany (7 out of 10 spots-I need more friends!!)

A: Kill Bill-twisted

A: wasting time by the computer. Kinda like now

A: the watch guy isi open til 6

A: Mine

A: green Golf shirt. I have crossed that line and I wear Israeli brands.

A:Memoirs of a Geisha. I wasn't so impressed but Shany liked it.

A: Boxers, Wedding band, Cell Phone

A: All different colors.

A: 80 shek

Q: What is your favorite part of the chicken?
A: the part you eat

Q: What's your favorite town/city?
A: Tormus Aiya

Q: I can't wait to (til)...?
A: own a helicopter

Q: When was the last time you saw your mom?
A: January

Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?
A: summer

Q: When was the last time you talked to them?
A: Friday

Q: What did you have for dinner LAST NIGHT?
A: pizza

Q: How long have you been at your current job?
A: About a year

Q: Look to your left. What's there?
A: a huge map of Michigan and a plant I need to water

Q: Who is the last person you spent over $50 on?
A: Shany. I bought her a necklace

Q: What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
A: I borrowed jeans and a shirt from Abis about three years ago because I got drunk and slept in his apartment and threw up on my clothes. and on him. He still lent me clothes anyway.

Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day?
A: Yahoo, Haaretz and Arutz7

Q: Do you have an air freshener in your car?
A: In my car??

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
A: I have a plant.

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
A: My soul. It craves to be fed Maariv right now

Q: What city was your last taxi cab ride in?
A: Jerusalem

Q: Do you own a camera phone?
A: No. I own a camera, and a phone. I'm still able to function well enough not to need them together.

Q: What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
A: We dont have those.

Q: Recent time you were really upset?
A: When someone called me very stoned and laughed how they had mistakenly burned my couch.

Q: Have you been in love with anyone?
A: still am

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Culture Shock

Having lived here for awhile, I've gotten used to most everything. One of the big differences between here and there is with language. Four letter words here, especially English ones, are used very regularly without any meaning attached to them. In fact, in the army, when you do something wrong, its called doing a fack (rhymes with truck, but with Israeli accent). If you've done many things wrong, you've done many fackim. I've also been shocked when seeing someone talking to their proffessor wearing a shirt that said "F!## you, you F@#$@#$ F@#$! But the other day I was especially surprised when a proffessor was discussing workers in the early 20th century, and said in English, "they were treated like sh@#." Didn't even say "pardon my French" or anything. The other time I was shocked last week was when Shany's friend was over, a charaidi girl who is married to a chassidish guy. He is American, learning here for now, but they plan on moving to America soon, and she is an Israeli who speaks English. She kept complaing about her f@#@# teacher giving too much f#@$#@ work and she doesnt understand sh@#, and I was thinking how over here she can say that without a problem, but it'll be really funny when she joins the Monsey or Boro Park crowd and talks like that.....

In other weird news, on our way to the Kotel Friday night a nun passed by and wished us a Shabbat Shalom....